Summertime in the City

Sorry guys, I was on sabbatical from the blog. I'm allowed to do that. It sounds more official than the real story: I got kind of lazy and, instead of updating you - my loving friends and family - on my life, I spent much of my normal blog-writing time doing important things like binge-watching Orange is the New Black on Netflix and trying out gluten-free beer. 

In truth, I've been quite busy, not lazy. I started a new job! Since I don't like to talk about work on this blog, I won't give specific details. However, I believe 95% of you are my family or my facebook friends so you already know the details. The other 5% are probably the people who Blogger informed me stumbled across this blog because you searched "Walking Map DC" or "Reba McEntyre Nipple." I'm not sure if I'm more bothered that you searched for information on Reba McEntyre's nipple or that your search led you here. Either way, I don't really want you to know where I work. Nor do I have any insights on that matter. 

And, to those of you looking for "walking maps," sorry I couldn't help you. But I hope you found the post about baby toupees just as practical and helpful. You can't unsee a baby in a toupee. Enjoy your walk. 

Now, where we? Ah yes, what I've been up to this summer. 

My second summer in D.C. has been a busy one. I don't know where to start so I'm going to mirror last year's end-of-summer post and present you with my Summer Scrapbook. Since it's only the end of July, let's call this "Part 1 of 2." Unless I go on "sabbatical" again, in which case, this will be "Part 1 of 1." Let's be honest, I'm nothing as a blogger if not inconsistent. And that you can consistently count on. 

A Davidson Wedding
As I mentioned in my last post, I have several weddings this year - five, be exact. Wedding #2 was a Davidson Wildcat-filled fiesta for one of my most favorite couples, Christie and Adam. In my mind, these two have been married for many years now but, I guess my judgment doesn't hold up in a court of law of a house of God so it was wonderful to be able to celebrate as they made it official. As you can see, a good time was had by all. This wedding was also a first for me because it was the first time I wielded a fully-functional sparkler for the send off - it lit on the first try, it sparkled 'til the end and I'm pretty sure it made all the difference. 

Weddings and Parties on Farms

Yep, I know, it's been a few weeks. I've just been so busy hanging out with farmers. Seriously, I had no idea that I knew so many farmers. 

Hang on tight, this post is a two-for-one special.

Farm #1: First up is Liz and Declan's beautiful Memorial-weekend wedding at her family's farm, Hickory Nut Gap Farm. Not only did I get to visit a picturesque setting to see one of my most favorite couples get married, but I got to stay in my favorite town - Asheville, NC.

Liz and Declan's wedding was the perfect way to kick off wedding season, which for me lasts the rest of the year and includes five celebrations. It may just rival the legendary "Summer of Eight Weddings" a few years ago. 

In case I get behind and am not able to write about all of these sure-to-be splendid events, here are general statements that hold true for every single wedding I ever attend. Feel free to just rearrange the order and write your own post.... 

• "It was so wonderful to get to see all my [friends/family] from [high school/college/life]. I wish I could see them more often but love that we can celebrate times like these together." 

• "Normally I'm a red wine drinker but I drank white to avoid the "red wine teeth" in pictures. It's a gift I'm providing my friends in the future when they look back and don't have to see me with a purple mouth. Also, my grandkids won't think grandma was a lush."  

• "I made everyone stop to take so many pictures which I then uploaded at 6am the next morning. People pretend like they're annoyed that you take pictures but they always love them later. It's a service I provide the people. I'm so giving."  

• "I tried to sit on the aisle so I could see the bride because everyone is so tall that when they stand, all I see are backs. At my wedding, we're going to assign seating based on height because, if I'm going to buy a dress that's more than $50, then everyone sure as hell better see it. And also, you know, witness the moment of me walking down the aisle, love, marriage and stuff."  

• "Although I teared up several times during the ceremony, I was able to hold it together until the father-daughter dance. That one gets me every single time." 

• "I cried again during the toasts. Goodness, what's wrong with me. I blame the champagne." 

• "I accidentally finished all my champagne before the toasts were over. Why are champagne glasses so much smaller than real glasses? I had to toast with water but the sentiment was still there." 

As It Should Bee

This is a sports-related post which means I need to begin with this disclaimer: I actually know very little about sports. I know a fair amount about being a sports fan but am in no way qualified to comment on "the sports" in general. I'll probably use sports terminology incorrectly many many times in this post. You'll just have to forgive me. After all, you were disclaimed.

Disclaimer #2: I'm a Charlottean at heart so I write this from that perspective. Basically, while you're pretending I know how to write about sports, also pretend that I still live in Charlotte. Sorry, D.C.

You guys, I have to write this random Sunday afternoon post because I'm very excited. Actually, eight-year-old me is very excited. 

I guess you could say, I'm buzzzzzzzzing with delight. 

Rumor has it, my Charlotte Hornets are coming home. Can it be? The Hornets? Back at the hive?

My first introduction into the wonderful world of professional sports was in a magical place called the Charlotte Coliseum where the music was loud, the pizza was hot, and the Hornets....were...awesome.

The Charlotte Hornets.

I was three-foot-nothing and they were larger than life. I knew the players by name and when to yell DE-FENSE. And I was pretty sure that Larry Johnson's Grandmama was the funniest character that had ever been created in the history of the world, at least during my single-digit lifetime.



The Hornets were our team and we were their biggest fans. Charlotte was draped in teal and purple, there was a multi-story Charlotte Hornets mural on the side of the First Union building downtown/uptown (I don't even have time to get into the downtown vs. uptown debate), Hugo would visit schools and give high fives to kids with perfect attendance and every one had a favorite player. 

John Hodgman Loves My Mom

One day a few weeks ago, I was minding my own business, reading tweets and clicking on important BuzzFeed lists like "38 Dogs Who Suck At Hide-and-Seek" when I saw a tweet from comedian John Hodgman about an upcoming show in Alexandria, VA.

I'd never seen John Hodgman perform but I loved him on The Daily Show, as the poor PC guy in the Mac commercials and those times he did voice-over for the Emmy Awards and shared fake background factoids about celebrities as they walked to the stage.

I'm a Mac. I'm a PC. 

"Eric Stonestreet hails from Kansas, and reports that while growing up, he wanted to be a disc jockey, a Marine, a prison administrator and a clown. Apparently that is all one job in Kansas."

And, there was a time when he roasted President Obama for being a nerd.

Turned out Hodgman's show was the same night my mom was in town. While my mom is a loyal watcher of The Daily Show, I wasn't sure if the stand up routine was something she'd be into. I decided to go straight to the source. No, not my mom. John Hodgman. 

Yes, I was the only one who "favorited" this. 

Well, that settled it. Plus, now he was expecting us to be there. After some quick email correspondence with my mom and sister, we impulse-bought tickets.


The show was at the Birchmere Music Hall which none of us had been to before but we'd all heard good things.

Mom and I went early to get seats and order dinner while Melissa waited for Pete to get home to stay with Baby Charlie. I'm not a parent myself but it seems you can't leave an eight-month-old by himself, no matter how much of a genius he is. (Seriously guys, he knows how to pick up Cheerios now. It's amazing stuff.)

Right before we left, my mom, Melissa and I were all talking about the superiority of North Carolina barbecue so, of course when I saw barbecue on the menu, I had to get it. Barbecue, comedy...is this what heaven is like?