Friday, July 13, 2012

Does That Baby Toupee Come In Blonde?

As you all know, I will be an Aunt very soon. In September, to be exact. In preparation, I'm co-hosting a baby shower next weekend for Melissa and Pete (and the baby too, I guess.). When I say baby shower, I'm not talking your typical middle-of-the-day, name-that-baby, no-boys-allowed baby showers. Ours is co-ed, at night, and the theme is mocktails and cocktails. As the name suggests, this shower will feature signature cocktails, mocktails, and two types of beer home-brewed by the father-to-be himself. In other words, this ain't yo mama's baby shower. It's better.* 

*For those of you traditionalists who are skeptical at our shower turned partaaaay, know that there will be some baby-related gifts, decor, etc. 

That said, I've spent much time researching baby gifts and decorations. And, by "researching" I pretty much mean "aimlessly searching Pinterest." As typically happens when you search the Internet, I came across some crazy stuff. Naturally, I feel the need to share it with you because, hey, it's Friday night and I have no plans. Brace yourself. It gets a bit crazy from this point on.

1. Baby Bangs
I couldn't make this up, you guys. It's a hairpiece for your baby. In case your baby doesn't have hair. Geez, talk about some premature balding. Who wants to go out in public with a four-month-old who doesn't have hair? I can't tell you how many times I've been out shopping, seen a little baby and thought, "That baby sure is cute but would be a lot cuter in a toupee." 

Before baby bangs:

After baby bangs:

2. Baby Catapults 
I first wrote about Baby Catapults on my old blog. But no one read that and I still love this product so I'm going to revisit this fantastic party game. Also, because it's Friday, I'm tired, and I just had a glass of wine, I'm going to just cut and paste the exact same thing I wrote back then. It's called "recycling" y'all. 

So, I actually could see this being totally amusing. It looks way more fun than typical baby shower games. But still, who initially came up with this concept and who purchases it? Even more amusing than the actual product is the description. Thank you Far Fetched Gifts for the entertainment.
Actual description from the website:

The Baby Shower is a plastic catapult that ejects infants up to 15 feet. (This sentence alone is a gem.)

~ Just load one of the 3/4" long plastic babies into the catapult device then pull the trigger for tyke tossing fun. (Tyke tossing fun. Enough said.)

~ Great gift and game for real baby showers. (As opposed to all those fake baby showers I have...)

~ Four different babies included. (I'm not sure whether do be offended by their attempt at diversity or applaud them for it. I still can't get over the flying babies, no matter the ethnicity)

3. Baby on Ice!

Someone pinned this on Pinterest. It's a baby in an ice cube. I'm pretty sure I'm not trying to drink a beverage that contains floating babies. They could really detract from a refreshing lemonade. That's what I would be drinking because you certainly can't put ice cube babies in a cocktail. That would be inappropriate. 

4. Cleavage Cake
God bless Cake Wrecks. If you don't regularly check Cake Wrecks - one of the greatest websites of all time - then you are seriously missing out. For this particular post, I'd like to share  the following with you....

scary baby The strangest baby shower cakes ever (pics!)

That's right. It's a baby popping out of a belly. It's also sort of x-rated (hint: nipples). And, you're supposed to eat it. Personally, I wouldn't go near that cake. And I LOVE cake.But, I want nothing to due with the cutting, serving, or consuming of that cake. For even more alarming baby cake wrecks, check here

5. Baby Hands
I shared this from Etsy on Facebook a few days ago. It still weirds me out. In case you can't tell what that woman has in her hand, they are tiny baby hand soaps. Nothing is more perfect for a guest bathroom that having tiny hands from babies reaching from your sink, like tiny infant porcelain-dwelling zombies. My sister made the excellent point that these would only become more and more creepy the more you use them. 

The only time I like baby hands that are not actually attached to a baby is when they are attached to Kristen Wiig and appear here:

That concludes this round up of strange baby things. 

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