Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Day I Broke The Law....Allegedly

I was told that I wouldn't be an official Washingtonian until I got my first parking ticket.

Well, friends...

The time has come.

I present to you:

For the record...I OBJECT! 

You should know I'm fighting this to the death. Or, at least until they deny my formal objection. At which point, I guess I'll just have to pay the $25.

Yes, it's only $25. Could be worse, right?

But, do you know what you can get for $25?

  • Four cartons of milk
  • Two movie tickets and one small water bottle at the concession stand
  • One shirt at Anthropologie that is on final clearance
  • Five average-sized frozen yogurts with 2 toppings
  • One gigantic-sized frozen yogurt with 17 toppings
  • One minimum payment on a credit card (you can't really buy this but it would probably be wise to pay)
  • The feeling of goodwill that would come from donating it to a worthy cause - a cause that is not the DC DMV.
  • 10 cups of tea at Starbucks
Or, I could buy five of these cat unicorns. (Seriously, click the link. You know you want to. I might have to do a whole separate post about the picture of the woman and her cat.)

I could go on and on. (About the value of $25 and about cat unicorns.) 

Regarding the ticket, I don't won't bore you with details. Bottom line is: I am right, they are wrong. 

They said I was parked at an expired meter. After I re-examined the crime scene, I can safely say I was not at a meter at all. I was also underneath a sign that said my parking permit excused me from the 2 hour time limit. How 'bout them apples, Parking Enforcer?

I probably wouldn't go through the trouble of contesting my ticket, if this wasn't my first ticket ever. I may not be the best driver and I may not be able to parallel park, but I'm proud to say I know how to read things, like street signs. I'm also really good at following rules, you guys.

I'm the most badass rule-follower of all time. In high school, if I skipped class, I would either call my Mom from school and let her know or tell her as soon as I got home. I'm not even kidding. And, the only reasons I ever skipped class were to study or finish a paper for another class. I would skip school to do schoolwork.


My friend-who-won't-be-named said she's gotten tens - nay dozens - of parking violations. Apparently it's the norm. That didn't make me feel better. It did make me vow to never let her borrow my car though.

In the end, if I have to pay $25 - and forgo my 11 cups of Starbucks tea - then I guess it'll just be another notch in my Washington DC belt.

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