I Need Christmas

My family's Christmas tree. 

As you know—because I've really driven it home by now—it's my favorite time of the year. I'm having a hard time narrowing down what to write about. I have so many thoughts and so much to share.

I had a great Thanksgiving at home in NC with my parents, celebrating another Panthers' win and enjoying what came to be known by my mother as "that damn turkey." I have partaken in numerous festive activities around our nation's capital. I have Instagram-ed every beautiful Christmas tree I come across. I've decked the halls, wrapped the presents, and played Kelly Clarkson's "Wrapped in Red" album on repeat for a solid month....and it's only December 9th. Yet every time I post those pictures, talk about that damn turkey, or tweet about some ridiculous Christmas movie to which I've devoted an evening, I feel guilty. It all seems so frivolous and insensitive at a time when our country seems to be so very mad.

Have you ever looked up the definition of "mad"? These are the top three:

mad

adjective, madder, maddest.

1.

mentally disturbed; deranged; insane; demented.

2.

enraged; greatly provoked or irritated; angry.

3.

1. abnormally furious; ferocious:
   a mad bull.

Anger? Insanity? Yep, sounds about right.

Everything seems mad right now. Everyone seems mad—some for the right reasons (in my opinion because it's my blog) and some for reasons that are bigoted and hateful. We're angry and scared. There are people being killed because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time (a time when we desperately need gun control laws. Again, my blog.) Public figures—people who want to lead this great nation—are spouting hateful, dangerous messages that endorse unfair and inexcusable prejudices. We grew up hearing the old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." 

That's some BS, y'all. 

Your Ultimate ABC Family Christmas Movie Guide

Yes, I know it is only November 11 and I'm writing a Christmas-related post. You're just going to have to get over that, y'all. I love Christmas. If TV networks can run Christmas movies the first week in November, then I'm certainly allowed to talk about them. Also, if you're one of the four people upset about the fact that Starbucks' cups don't show a full nativity underneath your cardboard hot-beverage ring, then you aren't going to like this post. This Christian girl is about to get crazy secular up in here.

'Tis the most wonderful time of the year...for cheesy, magical rom-coms. ABC Family recently released the lineup for its 25 Days of Christmas. It's the one time of year when my peers and I become ABC Family's target demographic. Similar to when CSPAN airs the White House Correspondents' Dinner, their ratings are bonkers, and they start trending on Twitter. Then, a week later they're back to airing....whatever it is they air that I never watch. 

In case you're new to this phenomenon, I've decided to provide you with an introduction to ten classic ABC Family original movies. I just love them all so much. Don't even get me started on the Lifetime or Hallmark original Christmas movies. You aren't ready for those yet. Those often involve an ugly-cry. 

(Also, I guess I have to say "the following contains spoilers." But, do you really care about the ends of these movies being spoiled?) 

In no particular order, I present to you, some of ABC Family's finest work:

The Mistle-Tones

Tori Spelling (Beverly Hills 90210) plays the villainous lead of the Snow Belles, the rival singing group of Tia Mowry's (Sister Sister) Mistle-Tones. Both groups are competing to sing in the mall's Christmas Eve service, an honor the Snow Belles have had for decades. Duh, duh, duh. There are lots of carols and Christmas puns...so clearly it's a timeless classic. 

Holidaze

While we're talking 90210 alumnae...Jennie Garth stars as the hardworking, overly-ambitious single gal who, thanks to a hit over the head and visit to a parallel life, learns to love her hometown and the simpler pleasures in life. 

Snow

A young, handsome Santa loses one of his reindeer to the "real world" and must get him back in time for the big day. He meets a beautiful zookeeper in the process. Will he save Christmas?! Will he make her believe?! Will they fall in love?! Spoiler alert: Yes.

Snow 2: Brain Freeze 

Santa gets amnesia! *gasp* Someone who used to be in love with the zookeeper-turned-Mrs-Claus is out to ruin Christmas! *bigger gasp* It's up to Mrs Claus and the reindeer to help save Christmas. I hope whoever came up with that title got a special Christmas bonus, because it's a winner. 

Snowglobe

A hardworking no-time-for-Christmas single career woman (shocker) hits her head and is transported into the idyllic life of a snow globe town where she has a wonderful husband and adorable children. Not to be confused with Holidaze in which she hits her head and is transported to the life should might have had if she'd chosen love over career. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL, LADIES. 

Five Random Things I Just Can't Quit

There is nothing I love more than learning about new styles and inspiring products and trends from my favorite, oh-so-chic professional bloggers. They often provide carefully-curated lists of their favorite items and tips for how I too can achieve such a cool and fabulous lifestyle. I love reading those lists.  

But I'm not them, so this is not like that. 

This list is not even carefully-curated — I typed it in the "notes" app while riding the shuttle on the way to work. It stops after five items because that's when I started watching a hilarious YouTube video over the shoulder of the guy sitting in front of me. 

Anyways, here's a random list of things with which I'm currently obsessed. 

1. Dubsmash

I know I'm a little late to the game on this one, but a month or two ago, I discovered the Dubsmash app. If you aren't already on board, Dubsmash is a lip-sync app that allows you to create a short lip-sync video to music, TV/movies, sounds or videos of your own choosing. Most of my best work is done end of the day—hair up, glasses on, giant sweatpants, sans makeup. But there is only so much of that mess I want on the Internet, so here's one of me as my nephew, showing off his new Mickey Mouse toolkit:

I've spent so much time with Charlie that people say we are starting to sound alike. #auntielife #neednails #mickeymouseconstructionlife

A video posted by @lindsaydec on Aug 28, 2015 at 11:14am PDT

One day, I strive to be as skilled as these fantastic celebrity Dubsmashers (I think that's a word now).

Olivia Munn and Aaron Rodgers

Pure emoting

A video posted by Olivia Munn (@oliviamunn) on Aug 22, 2015 at 3:23am PDT

Stephen and Ayesha Curry

#tbt to when Frozen was cool. But as parents, Frozen is always cool. And don't act like you don't know the words! #dadshavefuntoo

A video posted by Wardell Curry (@stephencurry30) on Oct 29, 2015 at 10:08pm PDT

Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph know what I'm talking about: 

2. Double-Sided Wardrobe Tape

You're probably thinking, "What the what?" I recognize this is a weird thing to be a fanatic of but I find it unbelievably helpful. I always thought this was just a tool to help celebrities contain their cleavage on the red carpet. Turns out, it's so much more! (Well, it's not that much more, but it is helpful.) 

Remember in My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Toula's dad thinks Windex is the answer to everything? I've started to become that way about double-sided wardrobe tape. 

Pants too long and you're too lazy to go to tailor? Wardrobe tape.
Bra strap escaping your shirt? Wardrobe tape.  
Suede boots falling down because you never have time to go to the gym anymore and no longer have the calf muscles to hold them up? Wardrobe tape.
Have to adhere 15 black polka dots to your lady bug Halloween costume but don't want to ruin your dress? You guessed it. That ingenious tape. 

You may be thinking, "But, Lindsay, why not just use regular double-sided tape?" And that's an excellent question, you. I've found that tape designed specifically for wardrobe needs is superior in that it seems to be a stronger adhesive but also doesn't leave a residue on your clothes or skin. Also, it comes pre-cut and in a handy tin that you can keep in your purse or briefcase. (Do people still carry briefcases?)  

3M did not pay me for this post. Though, they should. 

3. Spiced Hot Apple Cider

You all can keep your pumpkin spice lattes. I'm all about the hot apple cider. I love it so much and I begin to crave it the minute the leaves start to turn. It's warm and spicy and fragrant and wonderful. And I'm not talking that warmed up store-bought apple juice that some places try to pass as cider. I mean true apple cider that's from an actual apple, mulled with spices, and served piping hot. If you put a cinnamon stick in it, then you're making all my dreams come true. I'm also equally as passionate about mulled wine but I'm not able to imbibe as frequently because I find that, during most hours of the day, I have to be a fully-functioning adult. 

4. The List App

Brought to you by B.J. Novak (The Office), this app allows you to create and contribute to lists on anything you could ever imagine. It sounds dumb, I know. That's what I thought when my sister told me to download it. Instead, it's the opposite of dumb. Here's a video about it. 

The List App is the social media app I didn't know I needed. Most of the lists I read are insanely creative, smart, and witty. You just have to try it. 

No, seriously, I need you to try it because I only have 5 followers, one of which is my sister and another is a sewer company. (Though that sewer company is using the app for some brilliantly hilarious content. Digital marketers, take note.) I'm Lindsaydec.

Some of my favorite lists include lists from Paul Feig, Mindy Kaling, B.J. Novak, and my sister. 

5. Lenny Newsletter

Apparently I'm a sucker for any e-venture from a celebrity, but the feminist bi-weekly newsletter, Lenny, founded by Lena Dunham and Jenni  (Lena + Jenny = Lenny) is one of my favorite things to read on my commute to or from work ...when I'm not typing out blog posts or eavesdropping on neighbors' phone activities, of course.


In an incredibly simplistic explanation, I describe Lenny as bad-ass women talking about things that are important to them and society. And there is nothing I love more than learning from inspiring bad-ass women. 
Lenny kicked off with an interview with the potential-President herself, Secretary Clinton, and followed up with activist Gloria Steinem, among other incredible and accomplished women. Articles range from funny—Lena Dunham's retrospective on her Halloween costumes—to relevant and informative—Senior Advisor to the President Valerie Jarrett's "Keep Guns Away From Abusers" or Jennifer Lawrence's essay on the Hollywood wage gap. Lenny cover topics that are important to both genders, though especially to women who seek candid discussion on women's health, career advice, or just a little life inspiration. One of my favorite articles was this one in which Amy Poehler interviews 12-year-old, Tony-nominated Broadway star Sydney Lucas.

Fellas, you can read Lenny too. As Aziz Ansari so eloquently describes, feminism isn't just for the ladies.

Lenny, which originated in its newsletter form, now has a full website on which you can read articles, in case you didn't pick up on that through my hyperlinks. Though I recommend you sign up for the newsletter here. 




There you have it. Five things—in an extraordinarily long post—that I currently love. I hope you note that they were in no particular order. I certainly don't rank double-sided tape over feminism. Though it's probably true that I rank stellar Dubsmashes above all else.

Charlie and Lindsay's Most Excellent Adventure

Not sure if you guys heard, but I have a nephew. I know I never talk about him and I never ever post pictures on social media. But he exists. He's three and he's awesome.

Now, I've babysat Charlie many times. In fact, I'm his favorite babysitter. I'm also his only babysitter, but I don't see how that is relevant.

When my sister called and said they would "sponsor an adventure" for Charlie and me so they could attend an event all day Saturday, obviously I said yes.

On our frequent Facetime chats, Charlie often asks when he can come to my apartment. I like to think this is because he wants to spend quality time with me, but I'm pretty sure it's because he sees the TV in the background of all our calls and wants to watch my TV....my tiny, discount, non-cable TV.

No matter what the reason, I decided to fulfill the kid's wish and have him over to my neighborhood for what will forever be known (probably just by me) as Auntie Adventure Day!

Now, there are limited adventures you can take with a three-year-old, especially when you're an adventure-averse aunt. Adventure to me is going on a hike, but like, the kind that's on a trail and can be done in a day and ends with a pretty view but doesn't require me to touch much of nature.

Where can you find nature in a controlled environment? The Zoo!

Fortunately, I live just a few blocks from Smithsonian National Zoo, so that was our plan. Throw in a tour of my building (pro tip: three-year-olds love trash chutes), a quick stop at the library, lunch with friends, and frozen yogurt — you've got a three-yr-old-friendly and Lindsay-approved day of adventure. 

Here is the scrapbook of our day:

We started out the day with a tour of my building. He has only been to my apartment a few times, one of which was my birthday. That explains why he walked into my kitchen, looked confused and said, "Where are the cupcakes?" Fortunately, to a three-year-old, trash chutes, elevators, and roof-decks are just as exciting. 

And then...we were off to the zoo! Well, sort of...

At the rate we were moving, it was going to take us approximately four days to walk to the zoo. Charlie insisted on carrying that tiny umbrella. "It's really important that we have this, Ninny. Don't worry, I'll carry the tiny umbrella." (Oh yeah, I'm Ninny. That's probably important to know.) Then, we found lots and lots of acorns that needed to be collected. Fortunately, I was able to bribe him into the stroller with a graham cracker. And then we were really off!

We arrived! The zoo doesn't require ties but Charlie likes to look dapper at all times.

Overall, the zoo was a hit. The elephants, ducks, sloth bear, and, surprisingly, plethora of benches and trash cans were the biggest attractions for Charlie. Then, as any good auntie does, I let him pick whatever he wanted from the gift shop, which, thankfully, was a $4 tiger-on-a-stick 

"Charlie, I think you can put the tiny umbrella down in the stroller while you look at the birds. It will still be safe."

Next, we stopped by the puzzle table at the library. Charlie learned how to open all different kinds of locks on this particular puzzle, which seems like an odd skill to teach a toddler. You're welcome, Melissa and Pete. 

After working up quite an appetite, we met my friends Adam and Joe for lunch and frozen yogurt. (Actually, I'm not sure if Charlie had an appetite because I'd been bribing him with graham crackers all morning.) Charlie got really shy at first and just kept sticking his hand in the barbecue sauce. That's always my move when I'm shy too, perhaps that's why I go on a lot of first dates and minimal seconds.  

All good adventure days end with some relaxing TV time. This is us watching some show about a talking truck named Chuck. You parents probably know what I'm talking about. It was far superior to the episode of Barney we watched immediately afterwards. Did y'all know Barney is still a show kids watch? Who knew that purple dino would be the Madonna of kids' characters and stand the test of time?  

Now, I leave you with this gratuitous belly shot. (Wardrobe change brought to you by juice mishap.) Note how this kid excels at relaxing: Arms behind his head, laid back, watching some shows. I know I'm just the aunt, but I'd like to think he gets his "chill" from me.