La Boum Brunch

This past weekend, my friends and I discovered the secrets to the perfect Bachelorette Party:

• Start the champagne at 11am
• Dance
• Eat 
• Dance
• Dance
• Stop the champagne at 5:30pm
• Two rounds of Dominos delivery (because sometimes the first order just isn't enough)
• Everyone to bed by 11pm

Our lovely bachelorette

But that's all I'm going to say about the Bachelorette party specifically because we all know, "What happens at a Bachelorette Party, stays at a Bachelorette party." If I wrote about everything, I'd have to change names to protect the innocent and then I'd have to keep up with a whole new set of names and it would just all get so very confusing for me. In truth, things didn't get too crazy - no one was arrested, no one got lost, no one was in an alcohol-induced coma and there were no strippers. Well, there was a bizarre burlesque bunny.....but I'll get to that. As I said, we were all in bed by 11pm. In fact, I even made it to church the next morning. 

(God, I know you probably don't give extra credit but, if you do, I would just like to call your attention to that last sentence....the one about going to church after a bachelorette weekend, not the sentence about the burlesque bunny. Ignore the sentence about the burlesque bunny.)

While I won't give you a play-by-play of the entire fun-filled weekend, I would be missing a huge opportunity on this blog - which is supposed to chronicle my DC adventures, after all - if I didn't highlight the 3.5 hour dance party we called brunch. 

This ain't your mama's scrambled-eggs-and-toast brunch. This is stand-on-your-chair-sparklers-in-the-champagne-tambourine-and-booty-shaking brunch. This is La Boum brunch. And it. is. ridiculous.

You show up to L'Enfant Cafe, a seemingly normal French restaurant, at 2pm and wait out front. (Or, if you're us, you show up too early and have to go to the bar next door to pound a pitcher of mimosas and an order of tater tots.) You have to have a reservation but you can't go in until they are ready for you. Meanwhile, people are sitting out on the patio, enjoying their French brunch and judging you, knowing you're about to go inside for La Boum. 

Then, you hear a tambourine. They are ready for you. The host opens the door and, tambourine-in-hand, shows you to your table. There's no turning back. 

At this point, my only thought was, "I have to get my hands on that tambourine. That tambourine will be mine."

We had a party of 10 and were seated at a long table along a front wall. The place isn't very large and seats perhaps 50 or so, including seats at the bar. A nice, cozy, intimate brunch. 

We ordered our food - a house salad and spinach souffle crepe for me - and enjoyed our free seasonal mezze plate and shots of kir. We also ordered three bottles of champagne for the table since this was a celebratory brunch.

After we finished our first course, the owner walked out with a microphone, highlighting the special occasions being celebrated - two bachelorette parties, a birthday, and - as he said - one girl celebrating not being pregnant (um, congrats?). That girl kind of kept to herself - lessons learned, I suppose. 

Then, it got real. 


He promptly ordered anyone near a window to pull the blinds closed. We were told not to go in or out of the front door, lest the glaring sunlight blind us all. The rules were: No dancing on the bar. No dancing on the table. But you must stand up on your chair and dance. 

Suddenly, the lights went out and the DJ kicked in with some amazing tunes and I completely forgot about the remaining bites of spinach souffle crepe. Who can think about a crepe when a dance remix of Whitney Houston is playing, demanding you belt it at the top of your lungs? Being the rule followers we are, our crew joined the rest of the place in immediately jumping up on our chairs where we pretty much stayed for the next three hours.  

This is also when the champagne started being served with sparklers shooting out of the top. We obviously ordered eight more of those throughout the course of the afternoon. 

The DJ played the best music - songs that you could not only dance to (awkwardly, in my case) but that you could also sing along to loudly. Word to the wise, work on your upper body dancing because, if you move your feet too much (especially if you're in heels!) you run the risk of falling off the chair. To those of you whose signature moves are the sway-and-clap, snapping, or pointing, you would excel. You'd still look stupid, but you would be able to safely execute your moves. Don't be offended. I am one of you. 

And, even at La Boum, the sway-and-clappers like me get to wear the gold hat. You also get the tambourine. Multiple times. That's right, kids, the tambourine. Dreams do come true. 

Red eyes. Always with the red eyes. 

Well, that about covers it. Oh, the burlesque bunny you ask? Yes, that happened. We were dancing and eating and singing when the owner got on the mic to tell us there was a special guest. In walks a woman (I think it was a real woman.) dressed in a bunny costume. Not a sexy, cocktail waitress bunny costume, a straight-up, pictures-at-the-mall bunny costume. Then she started dancing and removing it to display Easter-themed lingerie. And that, my friends, is how La Boum ruined the Easter Bunny forever. Just kidding, it was all in good, clean (er...), French fun. Creepy but whatever. 

Will La Boum Brunch become a part of my regular brunch rotation? No. God help me, I don't think I'd survive. However, dancing with great friends and imbibing in festive, sparkling champagne was the perfect way to celebrate our beautiful bachelorette. Plus, I love any social activity that allows me to still go to bed by 11pm on a weekend. You know it's true. 

Speaking of which, get ready for multiple posts this week. I'm stepping out of my normal role as weeknight hermit. Last night, I got my country fix at a Gloriana concert and on Friday I'm going with my sister to see Aziz Ansari's stand-up show. I think I'm earning enough "social butterfly" points in March that I can maybe take April off and just wear sweatpants and binge-watch Netflix every weekend. Suggestions for the queue?