What's in a Name? (Certainly NOT Snow)

Well, that was lame. 

I was all ready for a midweek winter wonderland. Being from Charlotte, I don't ever set my hopes too high when it comes to snow. Then again, I've never been promised 3-6" of snow. And then 4-8" of snow. And then 5-10" of snow. 

I've never been told my neighborhood would get "hammered" with the storm or that I would "definitely need a shovel." (Yeah, ok, I was never going to shovel anything.)

I was pumped. I know snow can be dangerous and a pain-in-the-ass as it cancels events and ruins commutes. But, we had enough warning ("IT'S COMING! BIGGEST MARCH STORM IN HISTORY!") that I figured everyone would be safe and we could enjoy the beauty of the snow.  

As I told a co-worker, I mostly just wanted to lay eyes on the snow. I didn't actually need to "interact" with it. (I was looking forward to having a reason to wear my snow boots because they are so cozy but I look ridiculous wearing them when it isn't snowing. Which I have done.)

Warnings...panic... excitement..and then, nothing. At least not for my neighborhood.  

It did snow for the majority of the day but we have nothing to show for it. This morning, they were big, beautiful, fluffy flakes. I ran to the window when I saw them. Then, I looked down at the ground - it was snowing hard, there had to be some accumulation already - and saw nothing but wet ground. Dirty, grassy wet ground. 

8 a.m.

A light dusting.

9 a.m.: 

Big snowflakes.

 "Why is the snow not piling up? They said there would be 5+" so it must be coming, right?" I did what any rational person would do and immediately took to Twitter, looking for evidence that the snow would start sticking. Again, I was given hope by photos and tweets from highly credible sources. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I have to put my snow boots back on the shelf in utter defeat. 

Midday:

Still snowing.

6p.m.:

Nothing. 

(BuzzFeed described it best with this sadly accurate run-of-events.)

I don't entirely blame the weather forecasters and meteorologists. They are always the unfortunate scapegoats for jilted snow lovers. Could they have used less exclamation points in their tweets and blog posts? Sure. Could they have not led us on with their intoxicating colorful maps and sexy videos of snow plow preparations? Absolutely. 

But it isn't their fault.

Well, it's a little bit their fault. 

After all, they named the stupid thing. 


In case you're saying "Huh?" because you haven't been living and breathing the "biggest snowstorm in two years" the past 48 hours, the DC area - led by Capital Weather Gang at The Washington Post - named the snow storm, Snowquester.  

Snowquester. 

Seriously, why did I expect anything exciting from a storm named Snowquester? (I was going to make a joke and call it "NOquester" but I've already seen that joke made about 627 times now so I won't. Damnit. I should've started the process to trademark that while I was working from home today.)

I refuse to call the storm Snowquester. Mainly, because it sounds dumb and is super nerdy.  Secondly, because it sucks the magic out of a snowstorm. (Which, in hindsight is a moot point.) There's something about seeing snow that makes you feel like a little kid - even if just for a fleeting moment, the moment before you realize you don't get to to play all day nor do you own a sled. (Or get to wear your cozy boots.)

No excited little kid would name a snowstorm Snowquester. I don't actually think anyone under the age of ten can even pronounce it. I suppose the Weather Channel's name of Saturn is a little bit better because kids do love the solar system and Roman gods (well, maybe not so much the latter) but it is no less ridiculous a name for a weather system. 

While some mocked the name of the recent Northeast storm, Nemo, I kind of liked it. That definitely sounds like something an excited kid would name a snowstorm. While the word "nemo" refers to more than just an animated fish in a highly successful movie, that's all we really thought about. You know it's true. I propose we always allow children to name winter storms instead of the adults who suggest things like Snowquester. That way, when you're stuck in your house with three feet of snow blocking your door, you can still smile and think, "Aw, kids say the darndest things. Thanks a lot, Snowstorm Big Bird." The very act of naming storms already trivializes their risk and significance, so why not have some fun with it?

Better yet, let's not name the storms. It makes it hurt that much more when they don't happen. We personify them and then those little turds stand us up! I'd made plans, Saturn! I was going to walk around the neighborhood, take pictures, put on my cozy boots and venture out for a scone. (Or I maybe I was still just going to sit on my couch, working from home in sweatpants but I was totally going to look out the window at the beautiful snow accumulating on the ground like, THE WHOLE TIME.)

Note: My passion for naming storms (or rather, not naming them) mostly just applies to storms of the winter variety. When there are all those hurricanes and tropical storms simultaneously swirling out in the Atlantic, I can't keep them straight. Names are helpful, I guess. Dumb, but helpful. 

If it had snowed, this post would've been filled with lots of lovely photos. Instead you got ramblings on storm monikers. See, no one wins when it doesn't snow. 

Oh well. What can you do? I'm a North Carolina native. I've missed out on big snowstorms often - like, basically every winter for the past 27ish years. I never lose hope. Next year, DC. That's our year.  

If you did get accumulations of snow today, then I hope you had a fun-filled time and are staying safe. I've enjoyed all your pictures. That is to say, I'm enjoyed them in a jealous, mean girl kind of way but still, keep 'em coming.  

For now, DC, let's just move on. Preferably in 70-degree weather and sundresses. Come on, Spring.